yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
