He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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