Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
