Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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