Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
