Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
this is an emotional support booty call
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
