In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think my vagina is haunted
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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