i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
