thus making me awesome and them whores
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
