your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
