Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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