what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
