Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
whose parrot is this?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
