why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
