i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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