I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
