When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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