so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
