There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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