For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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