I think I am morally bankrupt
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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