I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he fucked my hip out of place.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
