i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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