I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
