So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
