Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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