What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
