Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
