Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
