You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
