I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
