I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just gargled with NyQuil
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
