just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
