hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
