I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
