I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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