You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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