Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
