he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
