the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
