Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
