I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
