In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
