Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
