Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
