I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
