dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
