It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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