Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
