Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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