Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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