The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
