So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
